The boys and I really dove into a good groove in Puerto Rico during our 2nd week of the trip.
As mentioned earlier, we were sad that Jeremy had to go back to the states for work. Some people wonder if I was nervous to be alone in such an unfamiliar place for the next three weeks. NOPE, not at all! I love tropical adventure, so even if we were in another country, I wouldn’t be nervous. And there was really nothing to fear because PR is a territory of the United States. So while it has a unique culture and pace from the rest of America, it’s not much different from the states. We were in a very safe area where almost everyone we encountered spoke English. Driving is essentially the same as in the states, the currency is US dollars, and there is lots of the stores we are used to, including the three W’s: Wendy’s, Walmart and Walgreens. Maybe if google maps didn’t exist, I’d be a little less confident, but there were plenty of times- like El Morro- when I did not have internet or GPS, and I carried on great! I of course had to rely heavily on the Holy Ghost to guide me and keep us safe. I don’t remember a time when I asked for guidance and didn’t get it, so I really had no fear about being without Jeremy. I took this picture a few minutes after saying goodbye to him because I wanted to remember the feelings of confidence and peace I felt embarking on adventures with just me and the boys. It was an incredible feeling!
Being at the airport put us closer to Old San Juan, so we took an adventure there! The streets were more amazing than I remembered them. I tried to video them, and the boys did not seem to appreciate my efforts or these beautiful streets! We found parking and I got the boys to walk to the tip of town where we could see El Morro Fort.
I bought the boys snow cones, which was a big deal because 11 times out of 10, I tell them no for things like that. But I knew getting some sugar in them was going to be necessary for them to survive the walk out to the fort without whining and dragging their feet. It was a risk, and it ended in my favor! Phew! The boys perked right up and had no problem taking the long walk out there!
Even before we came to the mote, the boys were fascinated. (It helped that I showed them some videos of El Morro ahead of time.) They loved finding all the places where cannons and gunmen would stand to shoot the enemy. We had fun pretending to be lookouts to find pirate ships. They loved exploring many of the rooms inside the fort and learning about the people that lived here and why they were here, how old the place was, how the dates of battles related to other historic dates they know about, etc. It has been a really neat blessing to see my children loving history as much as Jeremy and I do. I would have taken more pictures of this adventure, but my phone died.
I should note that with the government shutdown, this place should have been closed because it is a national park. But the local rangers and workers volunteered their time to keep it open, and they didn’t charge us to enter! We were very grateful!
The boys loved this iguana that was soaking up the sun. We came back to check on him and got these pictures.
We stayed there for over two hours, and the boys’ energy never faltered. Even as we left the fort, my kids were running up and down the green hills! Wow, to have their energy!!
We walked around the cobble stone streets until we found a bar that served food, and lucky for us they served quesadillas (which is not really a PR food). After eating, it was dark. We headed back to the parking garage, and ended up waiting 25 minutes for our turn to have the one valet man get our car for us. That was frustrating.
Tanner was very nervous about getting home because my phone was dead, which he knew meant no GPS to guide us. I reminded him of the scripture we were studying from the Bible that week that says “Fear not.” I told him that we didn’t need to fear because I already said a prayer and was fully confident that Heavenly Father would help us get home safely. I drove us through the old city, the big new city and through all the suburbs and subsequent cities to our home, which was an hour drive away, with no problems! Another answer to a simple prayer.
As many know, one of the main reasons we did this family retreat to PR was to learn how to rest and develop skills to help with our anxiety. We had a bunch of fun with Jeremy our first week, now it was time to buckle down on our practice with obtaining calm. I know it sounds silly to say that we had to practice being calm, but honestly, how many of us children or adults in the USA are actually good at relaxing? We suck at it! For real though, we do. It was a huge blessing to be away long enough to really dive into a schedule that aligned with the more relaxed pace of the Carribean.
The boys and I adapted our routines that we began with Jeremy.
Our morning routine: Wake up, go potty, get a drink, cuddle with mom, get dressed, make futon bed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, free time. My favorite parts of this were cuddling and breakfast.
Breakfast was so different in PR from what we are used to. I’d never really thought about this until after a few mornings of our amazing breakfasts. On school days, the boys don’t eat breakfast at home. They literally wake up, put their clothes on and then stand out on the driveway for their bus. They eat breakfast at school with everyone else because our district has free breakfast for all students. Thank goodness, otherwise there are many days where I would not have time to feed my kids before their bus arrives.
On Sundays, the boys eat breakfast at church, since we are usually at early morning meetings that begin at 7:30 am. Saturday is the only day we get to even try eating breakfast at home, and it is usually something quick because we are rushing to community events, service projects, birthday parties or just rushing all over the house trying to resurrect our home from the disaster that the week created.
It was so freeing to eat breakfast the way it was intended for humans–without ANY rushing to get anywhere. We had all kinds of yummy things each day, like eggs and fried sweet plantanes, avocado toast, yogurt and fruit, cereal, bacon, rice and beans. Speaking of avocados, can you believe the size of the avocados here?
Next, we did our Relaxation Routine: Morning walk on the beach, Strength training, Cosmic Kids Yoga, Mindfulness lessons (either Zen Den or social stories that I made for the boys), and Peace Out relaxation/meditation. Then, we did our study from the Come Follow Me curriculum, then School work, Lunch and free time.
This relaxation routine often took 2-3 hours. We did it every day. And while it all seems like fun and games, people should understand that it was a ton. of. work. Tanner and I worked on things that were really hard for us, I personally worked through important challenges through meditation, and it was difficult. It was sometimes very draining, but also very healing and freeing.
Our morning walks on the beach were a key part of our success in all of this, but it wasn’t a leisure activity. Of course we were doing it to enjoy the beauty of the beach, but our main purpose for this walk was to get our blood pumping and get our minds prepared for the work that lay ahead. I usually walked briskly while the boys ran ahead of me. Then, they would stop to watch the waves, look for treasures, or throw sticks. I would pass them and then a few minutes later, they would realize that I had passed them. Then, they would burst out of the sand and come running past me with big smiles on their faces. The whole process would reapeat, and I loved it. Some days, Dallin was too tired for walking and would whine that I was going too fast. He’s not much of a morning person like Tanner who is up at the crack of dawn every day.
Since our walks on the beach were for actual brisk walking, I made a rule that this was not a time to play/swim in the water. The boys did a good job honoring that rule. I still let them get their feet wet, and sometimes they would get too excited and run out too far, or misjudge the hieght of the waves, getting their shorts soaked, but that didn’t happen very often, so that was nice.
At the end of my beach walk, I did something that Jeremy teases me about because it’s really earthy. I did a special yoga greeting to the four ends of the earth and did positive affirmations for myself. While the boys washed their feet off, I did posture exersizes and walked back to our apartment holding perfect posture the entire way. These things only lasted about five minutes of my entire day, but I felt great doing it. There were a couple days that we didn’t do the morning walk, and I could feel a big difference in my overall mood and physical pain levels. So I made a big effort to stay consistent with this throughout trip, and I’m so glad I kept it a priority.
Our hard work began to pay off sooner than I expected. At the end of our 2nd week in PR one morning, we finished doing a Peace Out exersize when Tanner got up from the floor and announced, “That was the most relaxed I’ve been in my whole life! Can I do that again?” To hear him say those words meant the world to me! I broke down crying. That might sound silly to you, but it was a BIG deal for me. All the time and emotion spent waiting for a day where my son would really feel and recognize calm. Not weeks and months of effort, but years. The number of therapy appointments, the number of books and articles I read, and all the patience and tears and frustrations day after day of trying and trying to help my son find calm. Finally. FINALLY! He is experiencing actual relaxation. Relief for him. Relief for me. And anger that it had taken so long. And joy that it happened! Big day for us. Lot of feels.
On a few ocassions, I made us sandwichitos de mezcla, aka sandwhich mix. It is a very common snack to have at parties in PR. It is simply SPAM and cheese whiz mixed up in a blender and then spread on a sandwhich! It’s actually really good and the boys loved it.
Our afternoons were spent doing excursions and adventures! The most common were to play at the beaches or swim in the pool, or both. We also took adventures to fun places like El Yunque rainforrest, neighboring beaches, restaurants or cooking, and getting together with new friends.
Here are pictures and descriptions of our afternoon adventures during our first week without Jeremy…
One afternoon we made orange lollies with orange juice, ice cube trays and spoon handles.
Then I taught myself, with the help of youtube, how to make a traditional PR soup. It was way yummier than the soup at los kioscos de Luquillo.
One afternoon, the surf was too rough to be on the beach, so we played at the playground at our complex. We played “lost kids” trying to make weapons to keep pirates away from our island that we were desserted on. It was a fun time to join in on the play, without any other tasks or jobs that I had to think about doing or getting to. I really enjoyed just being present with my kids.
Tanner made this cool booby trap that can duplicate itself and move positions.
We got some awesome rainstorms a couple of afternoons here and there!
On one of the rainy days, we painted. This is my rendition of the waterfall we saw in El Yunque. I did it from memory because I didn’t take a picture of it exactly.
A few days later, I got to return to this location and get the picture that I had in my memory. I think I did a pretty dang good job painting this scene without having much to look at in front of me.
We drove to Fajardo one afternoon to enjoy Seven Seas Beach! Later in our trip we returned here, again. The water was calm and a beautiful turqouoise, hardly anyone was there, natural shade was on the sand and over the water. The water temperature was perfect, too. Gotta watch out for sand fleas here, but we had a fabulous time.
Tanner was getting anxious about stuff, so I suggested he take a break and do some breathing, and he actually did!! Another victorious moment for us.
Meanwhile, Jeremy was experiencing some colder adventures back home.
The next day, we found this restaurant at the top of our neighborhood. We ate a late lunch here and took our time enjoying the view.
Me and my handsom Tan Man.
We loved our lunch!
Then we headed to Luquillo beach to check it out a little bit.
Dallin is like me, he gets cold in the beach wind.
Some horseback riders came onto the scene. Cool!
Another afternoon, we went on a really neat hike in El Yunque rainforrest. No one was there to greet me with a map this time, either because it was a weekend or the government shutdown, so these signs were the only thing I had to figure out where we were gonna hike in the park. I took a picture of them and that worked out great!
Can you see the layers of the waterfall through the trees? The water starts way up in the tree tops and cascades over layers of rock before hitting the big flat rock.
We found a trail! We had fun climbing up and down the rugged path. It was a more difficult path, which made it seem more adventurous. When we came to a good part in the trail, I told the boys we should stop, sit, and listen to all the sounds we could hear. I timed them for two minutes so they could know how long they need to be quiet. They did a really good job sitting and listening. Then we made a list!
What we heard in El Yunque:
- Coqui frog saying coqui
- Bugs buzzing
- Cars rolling
- Bird fluttering
- Two pigeons that sound like owls talking to each other
- Flowing water
- Heart beat
- Cricket chirping
- Fly humming
- Birds chirping
What we saw on the trail of El Yunque:
- Rocks, big and small
- Dirt
- Trees with umbrella leaves
- Spiral vine, holding on to branches and sticks
- Fox-looking leaf
- Caterpillar skin-looking leaf
- Purple beads on plant
- Ribbed leaf on plant with purple beads
- White flowers
- Leaves big enough to be a fan for the king
- Thorns
We had a such a fun time!! Our hike only lasted about 25 or 30 minutes, and most of it was sitting and observing. Althought it wasn’t a ton of time spent, it was some of my favorite time spent during our entire trip in PR. A few days later, we learned about mindful walking from our Zen Den lessons, and it felt cool to know we had already been doing that here.
We ate dinner at this cute restaurant in our neighborhood. The food was okay. The atmosphere was neat. The service, like most PR sit-down restaurants was very slow. Luckily, there wasn’t much we had to hurry home for other than sleep, and there wasn’t anything we had the next day to wake up for. So, I sat back and enjoyed the ambiance and allowed the boys to run around the garden of the restaurant while we waited for our dinner to arrive. Ahhh.
This scene kind of looks like the Tree of Life!
One morning Tanner decided to carry all the bags we have to see how strong he is! He was so proud!
That week, I talked to Jeremy every day in the evening after the boys were asleep. But it was trickier to coordinate times for the boys to talk to Jeremy. We were 2 hours ahead of MN time, so when the boys were ready to say goodnight to their Daddy, he was still at work or making dinners. One evening, Jeremy rested his phone on a shelf of the kitchen cupboard so we could see him on the video chat and he could cook while we talked to him. It was funny seeing the kitchen from the spot where our water glasses sit. We tried calling Jeremy during the day once, and he was still at home eating breakfast. The boys brought him into their bunk bed hideout. So cute!
We got a special invitation to Laura and Carlos’s home for dinner! We originally met them at our church here in PR and they were so kind to Tanner and Dallin. They have a dog named Legolas. Tanner was a little unsure about him at first, but Laura showed the boys how to play with him. The boys fell in love with him by the end of the evening. The sister missionaries stopped by to say hello, and so we got some fun pictures with everyone! Oh ya, the boys also decided to have mohawks that evening, which I thought looked really good. It’s fun to see them try new looks.
We tried out the bakery for an afternoon adventure. Puerto Rico has some unique pastries and treats. Yum yum yum. We came back here a lot throughout our trip.
Tanner had a meltdown at the bakery. He was stressed about choosing a treat and was trying to change his mind after we already decided what to order and how to split things up. I tried to help him use the strategies we were working on. After smashing his food and refusing to eat it, he eventually tried to take a few breaths and calm down. It is always an inner struggle for me to help him work through his emotions, because I get anxiety about his anxiety. I took this picture to remind us that even when we were in the tropics on vacation, and even after some really good relaxing days, we still had panic attacks and struggles over the same kind of things as we do at home. Luckily, there was a big difference being here. We had the gift of time and a slower pace to properly work through the struggles. I was able to keep cool and help him get through it in a better way than I normally do.
Then we went to our beach to check out the waves. We got some different photos this time, which was fun. But then, we decided it was better weather for swimming. The boys and I had a lot of fun in the pool. We played dolphins and sea otters.
For dinner that night, I made shrimp alfredo pasta with broccoli while the boys swung in the hammock and helped cut the bread from the bakery. I told them to count to 120 while the bread broiled in the oven. My part of the meal was almost done, so I went to work finishing up, and before I knew it, I was smelling smoke from the oven. I asked the boys what happened with counting, and they said they were on 90. Haha. I guess they were truly in the island spirit of a slower pace because they had been counting rather slowly. The bread was burned. Luckily, we had enough bread (and plenty of time) for a second try. We got the timing just right! Our meal was delicious. Best of all, we took our time to eat it.
Going to bed at the end of our 2nd week in PR (first week without Jeremy) I marveled at this amazing opportunity to be here long enough to get my kids in a really good groove of learning how to actually rest.