Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye to everything in Austin was hard for our family, but especially hard for me. Writing this post has helped me process all the feels involved in this step of the journey.

In a Nutshell
Our last chance to get packed was on Sat & Sun of June 1 & 2. We were frantic trying to get everything ready for the movers, who were coming on Monday! It was tough to make progress because we had the piano recital, goodbye dinners, church, and friends stopping by to say their goodbyes. We were feeling pretty overwhelmed Sunday afternoon, still not sure how stuff kept oozing out of the closets and walls for us to pack. 
On Monday, the boys went to their last day of school, and I taught my last day in Austin. Jeremy was still packing boxes while the movers were loading the truck. Thanks to good friends like Lori, Jayne, Riley, Jeremy, and the Echols brothers for coming to help us in our 11th hour, we were able to pull through. When the boys and I came home from school, the truck was gone! That evening, there was a goodbye potluck for us with church friends at the Ekins’ house. After lots of fun and tears there, we slept the night in a hotel in Austin. On Tuesday June 4, we took some loads of belonings to Salvation Army and said goodbye to our favorite places in town. Then we headed to the airport. We got to San Diego late that night and slept in a hotel close to Jeremy’s new office. 

All the goodbyes seemed to happen so quickly. And that’s because it WAS quick. From the time Jeremy announced he was leaving Hormel to the time we were all packed and gone, it was only 30 days. The quick transition combined with the fact that Austin was so good to us made it more than overwhelming. Winnie the Pooh seems to sum up my feelings perfectly: “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” 

Goodbye, Friends!
This was probably the hardest thing about moving. There were so many wonderful people that we had to say goodbye to. I tallied up the number of students that I was teaching at Sumner, Neveln, my family music classes at home and at MacPhail, my piano students, and the children I was serving in primary at church. I said goodbye to about 630 children. Now, as a teacher, I’m used to saying goodbye to students at the end of each year. But I usually see most of these children and families again and again over the years. So it was really hard knowing that this time, it wasn’t a see-ya-later sort of goodbye. 
Then adding on neighbors, church friends, co-workers and volunteer peers, I counted another 365 people! Saying goodbye to nearly 1,000 people that have influenced my life in meaningful ways over six years of time was one of the most emotionally exhausting things I’ve ever done. Here are just some of the friends I was able to get pictures with before leaving.

Goodbye, Belongings!
If you’ve been keeping up, you’ll remember how excited I was to get rid of stuff in order to downsize for our next home. We said goodbye to at least half of our possessions during this process, and it felt SO GOOD!! Most things went to new owners at the garage sale, and big ticket items were sold online. It was very time consuming to get these items sold. I worked on selling a few things, but Jeremy did most of this task, even while he was in San Diego learning the ropes there. He brought in some good cash, enough to pay for our first month of rent in CA.
It is neat to see the pictures we took of items that we posted on Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace because it tells stories about our life in Austin. 

The Little Table.
This table quickly became the cute place for all our mugs during Wassail Parties at Christmas time. When it wasn’t Christmas, I used it to hold picture frames and fake plants. Now the table is gone to a new owner, but we’re still going to carry on our Wassail Party traditions. We also sold our giant wooden dining room table. It seated more than 12 people. We used it for big dinners and parties. But we’re moving on to smaller, better things, so it had to go.

The California King Bed.
Remember when we finally gave up that mattress we got for free from uncle Kevin’s furniture business, and replaced it with this fancy one? I still can’t believe it took us 8 years to get a proper mattress for my back. Funny how we bought the fancy bed frame before the mattress. This was a great bed.  

But really, we were happy to say goodbye to this bed. The frame looked beautiful, but looks aren’t everything. The wood frame stuck out in funny ways that made us jam our legs and toes about once a week. Remember when Dallin was still breastfeeding in the night, and Jeremy couldn’t get any sleep with me feeding Dallin? Poor Jeremy got kicked out of this bed and slept in the basement for about 6 months straight! When Dallin got older, this was the bed that the boys would wiggle into during the night and be right in our faces every morning. I think the reason we didn’t take them back to bed was because we were too tired, AND because all four of us fit fine in it because it’s so huge. Our new bed will be the one from the guest bedroom, which is a queen. We can’t fit all four of us as easily, but the mattress is arguably more comfortable than this clunker, so it will be a good change! 

The Kitchen Table.
We hung onto this since our life in the town-home of HB. Lots of amazing experiences around this table. Tanner and Dallin learned how to eat here! They also learned how to color and write their names at this table. I probably hosted 150+ parties with this thing. Lots of songs were sung here, along with lots and lots of whining. There were good laughs here, too, but I’m not sure it outweighs the amount of whining! 

It was a really cute table, but to be completely honest, I hated it. The glass was really troublesome to clean because streaks and fingerprints were always visible. Toddlers could never see the table at their eye level, and would walk right into the edge of the glass, banging their foreheads! The glass top would slip and slide on the frame. Remember how Dallin would put his bare feet on the underside of the glass and try pushing the table-top up during dinner? The chairs were a pain to keep clean and the pads on the legs would never seem to stay on, scratching up the floor. This piece of furniture was a huge source of stress for me. 

When two of the chairs were broken, I was excited for the excuse to get a different table. But Jeremy was not convinced that anything was wrong with the table. (?!?) He thought we should just replace the chairs. Well, the chairs were not sold separately, so he ended up buying a completely identical table with 4 more chairs. So we ended up with two crappy tables, and a bunch of chairs we didn’t need. I was pretty annoyed.

Karma did come back to get Jeremy when he agreed to get rid of the tables for this move. We could not find anyone to buy the second table! It sat on the edge of our driveway for a few days until someone finally took it for free.

The Riding Lawn Mower. 
This thing was a real life changer for us. Jeremy got it during our second year in Austin. It took our mowing time down from a 2.5 hour job to a 30 minute job. It’s easily one of the best purchases we ever made. I soon became the main lawn mower and loved the job. It was fun seeing how fast I could go around corners and curves and still get the grass cut. I loved taking the boys for rides on it. Tanner was always so good about moving items off the grass for me. Dallin was my little pal on my lap always ready to push the reverse button for me when I needed to back up. He got too big by the end of last year (when he was 5 yo) to ride along with me, so I did it alone that summer and enjoyed the time to think and ponder.  

I brought Dallin into the house and we put a bandaid and some cream on his little owie. It wasn’t necessary for the injury, but it helped us emotionally. I tried to talk him through what just happened, so we could process all the emotions. Dallin kept apologizing. I told him he doesn’t need to say sorry, because it was an accident. If anything, I should be sorry for not seeing him. He would try saying something about the accident, “I didn’t know you were going to back up” and “I tried to yell stop, Mom!” Then he would break down in tears for several minutes. I’ve never seen him cry so uncontrollably. It took over an hour for Dallin to calm down. Since it was bedtime anyway, he was finally able to zonk out. My poor, poor baby.

After tucking Dallin in to bed, I went to my room and fell to my knees. I poured out all my emotions to Heavenly Father. I felt so guilty for allowing this to happen. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced. I couldn’t understand how Dallin didn’t have any injuries, and thanked God over and over. The Holy Ghost whispered to me that there were gaurdian angels protecting Dallin from the mower, and I felt very strongly that one of them was my grandmother Ruth Higgins. I pondered on this for the next few weeks, and realized that she was watching over us not just during that moment but during many other moments that we were experiencing during this transition. On Facebook I mentioned how I could feel that she was excited for us to get back to the California beaches and that she was gently telling me everything will be alright and that there was lots of good things in store for us in our next chapter of life. Grandma was right.

 

Projects, Letters, Posters.
As we decluttered the house over and over again, we came upon lots of great artwork. The mask on Dallin was a proud creation he made during Kindergarten field day. 

I found this poster in the garage. We made it for Jeremy a couple summers ago when he tried riding in a bike thing. It wasn’t really a race. It wasn’t to raise money, either. It was just a riding thing. We cheered for him at the end, and he decided that riding your bike to just ride your bike is not his thing. He preferes to ride with a purpose of getting somewhere, like to work or the store.

This adorable letter from Tanner to Jeremy, written while we were in Puerto Rico popped up when I cleared away junk on a counter. It says “Hola, comostos? I’m sorry you cuold’t be here with us. becus we went to the tip of the beach and went on a hike in el yunka. and went to a hiten beach!! But I’m glad that we can be here together agen, and soo will get too be with your mom and dad! Odyos! bi. from Tanner”

Artwork of Tanners that fell behind furniture…

Piles of junk waiting to go to Salvation Army

Can you see the pacifier in the pile of trash we found under the desk? 

We really could have used that thing 4 years ago when all 15 of our pacifers were lost! Remember when the most valuable possession in our family used to be a pacifier? We seemed to be losing that thing every 10 minutes. And yes, we had the clippy thing to keep them on our kids, but those don’t work when you have toddlers. 

I can still remember talking about pacis all the time: “Can you grab me a paci? Tanner needs blankie-paci.” “Where’s the paci that I just put in the baby’s mouth?” “Dallin’s paci is lost again!!!” “I swear, I just picked up a paci and now I can’t find it anywhere!” On more than one ocassion, during late hours of the night when baby child was relentlessly crying, we gave up on searching. It was easier to drive to Walmart to buy a new paci than it was to scour the house for another 35 minutes in vain. Glad those times have passed us now!

We got rid of two TV’s, but we kept the piano, of course!! Movers did a great job keeping it safe. It was one of the few pieces of furniture that did not get damaged during the move, and good thing too, because it’s the only item that I really cared about keeping.

  

Goodbye, House!

Saying goodbye to the home was both sad and very exciting for me. I definitely have developed a love-hate realtionship with this house.

I love this house because this is where my babies learned most of their first milestones. During all those milestones, the home gave us everything we needed–and more! It was sturdy and spacious. We created such great memories and traditions inside these walls that we will carry on for a long time.

A big reason we bought this house was because we thought we’d have more children. It seemed like the perfect place to grow into. But God had a different plan for us while living here, which did not involve having more children. So that’s where some disdain for this home comes into play. As I look at the pictures, I can’t help but feel the pain that Jeremy and I experienced going through our journey here, discovering that things we had hoped for would not come to pass the way we thought. I’ve since embraced the unique opportunities that a family with 2 kids allows us to expereince right now, but there is still an element of loss that this home reminds me of that I feel is important to recognize.

But that leads to one of my favorite things about this home. Since it is so big, we took advantage of how the size allowed us to include so many people in our daily lives at our home. We gained thousands of unforgettable experiences as a result. From hosting a plethora of church activities and parties, to tending kids overnight in our spare rooms, to giving meals to missionaries, to teaching music lessons, to taking up renters, to serving airbnb guests, we have been able to welcome hundreds of family, friends, and complete strangers in this home. Our lives are so richly blessed from this!

Althought we had so many great experiences, this house proved to be too big for our needs. Too many rooms to keep clean, too many storage rooms to lose things in, too much yard to keep alive and maintain. It really was wearing me down. I was ready to get in a smaller home 18 months ago when we considered downsizing in Austin. So now that we were finally getting to a smaller place, I was really excited and even eager to say goodbye.

The boys however were not as eager to leave the home. Understandably. it’s all they’ve ever known. Tanner wasn’t even two years old yet when we moved here. All their memories are here! The boys talked a lot about how much they are going to miss the playroom and the workout room and their own room and the backyard. As we packed, they asked “Where will we build forts” “how are we gonna play drums?” “What if our room isn’t right next to yours anymore?” It was– and still is– a lot to process for them. They also didn’t like that we sold lots of furntiture and TV’s and toys, but the only item they keep talking about missing is our actual home. The social stories I’ve made for them have helped a lot, and we’ve tried to include the boys in as many decisions as possible with our new home, but it is still a really big change.

It’s no wonder they did not want to smile during our last picture of them on the front porch.

Goodbye, Town!
I fell in love with Austin quickly, and my love for it only grew year after year. Lots of people are happy to get out of Austin, but not me! This place felt like my home. And why shouldn’t it? I mean, the town is only 3 miles wide, so no matter how long you live here, it’s easy to gain a level of familiarity that makes you feel like a local. And after a year or two of rotating through the same handful of restaurants, we got to know the menu items by heart, and we knew exactly how long each place will take to serve us. After going to the same 4 local attractions again and again, we quickly found the smaller less-traveled attractions, considering them to be gems within the community. I felt even more like a local for knowing they existed.
I loved feeling like a part of everything. The people from the library class were also parents at family events. The people at church were also at school events and playgroups. The teachers from work were also artists at the Artworks center and actors at Riverland. And my students!! Well, they were everywhere and helped me feel like a million bucks when they called my name and gave me hugs in stores and restaurants. Nearly everytime I went anywhere, I would see current students that I was teaching.
I grew accustomed to the 7 minutes it takes to get anywhere in town, and how traffic and parking troubles are never real issues. I enjoyed the slower pace around me. And loved the never-ending supply of parks and playgrounds to choose from, along with the huge nature center.
The unique cultural diversity is one of my favorite things about Austin, and is an unmatched characteristic for a town this size, with over 52 different languages represented in our school district. Also, the amount of performing arts groups in this town is unique, with multiple live theatres that are always buzzing with performances from groups like Riverland Theatre, the Austin Symphony, Orchestra, Big Band, and Choir. The town even has an annual Arts Festival that is thriving every year. What other town of 25,000 has these things? No doubt, all these unique traits of Austin are a direct result of the thing that brough us here: Hormel Foods.
During our last day in town, we videoed our drive from our house to our favorite places, in hopes that the boys can remember the wonderful small town feel and their daily routines. We also spent time at several of the places to have one last chance to enjoy.

Goodbye Spam Museum. You are the best conversation starter I’ve ever had!

Goodbye Bandshell Park and all 22+ parks in Austin.
(Karem took the boys to the Robot park a week or two earlier while I did packing. It was a great chance for them to enjoy it one last time!)

Goodbye Oakland Avenue. One of my favorite roads in town. I loved evaluating the trees every day, during every season.

Goodbye Green Library Park

Goodbye Nature Center (our last trip there was our photo shoot. Photo by Kelsey Korfhage)

Goodbye Hormel Historic Home. You were our second home in Austin!

 

And goodbye Minnesota Nice, turning inappropriate grafiti into words of encouragement! Haha!

Here is a post I made on facebook on May 31, 2019 about moving that sums up this blog post perfectly:

What would you do if you had one week left to live?

Based on what I’ve been doing this last week of my family’s life in Minnesota before we move, I can guess that I would find a way to spend time with as many friends as possible. I’d visit all my favorite places with my family including that one outing we always said we should do, but still haven’t.

I’d try to make my last music lessons as awesome as possible and find a way to sing one last time in a performance. I’d scramble to write a few more thank you notes to people I haven’t properly appreciated, and I’d be mad that time is not allowing me to print pictures for all my friends as goodbye gifts.

I’d go through all my belongings and try to save everything that I know will be of value to my family. I’d cry inside my head a lot, especially when people say “see you later” because they don’t know it’s actually the last time they’ll ever see me.

I’d marvel a little more at the trees and the humidity and open sky without any mountains and I’d cherish hearing someone say Oofta. I would reflect on all the experiences I’ve had, good and bad, and how they’ve changed me. I would try to mend any relationships that needed repairing.

I’d walk around my house and remember all the milestones that my children had in each corner of the home and yard. I’d wonder if I really did enough for my family and the communities I was a part of here.

This week has been absolutely overwhelming in every way.

Yet, if leaving MN is like death, then our next home might be like going to heaven. And I don’t think San Diego will disappoint!

Off to the airport we went, ready or not to start a new chapter of life!!